Monday, April 13, 2015

Independence Day


Dear Will Smith,

It used to be that when you released a movie, you would also release a song with the same name as that movie. The world was a happier place when you did this, so I think you should start doing it again. I have taken the liberty of getting things started for you by writing a rap for "Independence Day." Enjoy. Also you should come up with some type of beat for it because I didn't do that.

Independence Day

Independence Day, or should I say July 4th
People celebratin’ from the south to the north
With a cool six pack and some warm apple pie
Hey hold up, what's that flying over there in the sky?
Not a waving flag, not dad's fireworks
Looks more like a spaceship being flown by some jerks
Aliens, coming to invade from outer space
Gotta try to fend ‘em off with some fighter planes and mace
Tried to make peace with them but didn't see eye to eye
They just looked at us and said that we were all gonna die
I guess no one went and told them this was Big Will's turf
Just three words for you space punks: Welcome To Earth

All across the country from New York to LA
We just want to try and have an Independence Day
Don’t care what those aliens or Secretary of Defense say
We’re still gonna celebrate the holiday

Now we’re fightin’ and we’re shootin’ all across the globe
Trying not to be the victims of an anal probe
Gotta save my hot wife and her photogenic child
So forgive me if my flying’s just a little bit wild
There’s so much at stake here: our freedom, our dreams
And some killer multimillion-dollar movie scenes
My boy Levinson thinks he can get ‘em with a virus
And make ‘em vanish faster than Billy Ray Cyrus
Not so sure I wanna listen to a science geek
But I guess we’ve got no choice if this is what’ll make ‘em weak
So let’s fly up to the mother ship with killer ammunition
Then we’ll finish off these freaks with a suicide mission

(Spoken: Don’t worry, the suicide part isn’t us. It’s just Randy Quaid's character. You won’t miss him that much.)

All across the country from New York to LA
We just want to try and have an Independence Day
Don’t care what those aliens or Secretary of Defense say
We’re still gonna celebrate the holiday

Well what do you know, looks like the good guys won
Time to celebrate the victory and have a little fun
It was a crazy battle—even the president fought!
Hope he wins a second term, or that was all for naught
I know you might’ve seen some plot holes while we zipped on through the air
But for 800 million reasons, I just do not care
Now it’s time to get some rest with my super hot wife
Time to ‘preciate the simpler things in life
But somehow I think the quiet life might not last long
Think I might be coming back soon with another hit song
Cuz while it might seem like this movie cannot have an equal
Just trust me on this: wait until you see the sequel

All across the country from New York to LA
We just want to try and have an Independence Day
Don’t care what those aliens or Secretary of Defense say
We’re still gonna celebrate the holiday