Why Headphones Are Important

If headphones didn't exist, and you happened to be at the gym with a lot of people who are much stronger than you are, and you wanted to listen to the soundtrack from, say, The Book of Mormon or Avenue Q or Spamalot while you worked out, it would be very difficult to do so without publicly compromising the aura of masculinity you have worked so hard to maintain over the years.

I'm not saying this has happened to me before, but I am saying that, yeah, this happened to me when I went to the gym today. Thank you, Nathaniel Baldwin. 

But not for supporting polygamy. Just for headphones.